Shatter clear and blue
Like ice crackling with rage
Beyond my feeble, stumbling reach
With fingernails rotted off
Leper hand clawing for a Jesus grip
As the ropes that keep me alive (hanging)
Slowly rot
I play the freak, assume the role
Beg for hate to fill this hole
Blend in a silent and guilty swarm
Waiting in their cauldron
I am melted into tasteless everything
Waiting to hurt you that you might know me
Worship and Communion for the dissident you don't bother to deny
Choke in a damp hell
Beneath the grave I obliviously dug drinking lemonade in a hammock last summer.
Rip until I've shorn myself to nothing, slashing at the concrete with clawed fingers
Smash away the skin, cut away the bone
I'll make you feel this way, I'll find you all alone
Burning on the playground smashing purple ribboned fingers into asphalt on the earth
Dig into the ground until the tools are worn of worth
My hands bleeding out onto the grave
Spit my last sigh and fall into the face underneath
The vermin choke on meals in the day
My body rotting shit in the night
My soil eyes in morning flowered
The beauty of being self empowered.
Bask in blood and strength
Lie awake dreaming of forty-five cents on the table
There must be something else
And something soft and white
Far away from here to close and wilt
While my body dies, rest warm and away
Weightless inside the blurred clarity of being numb
My eyelids blur the line
Sleep in mud amongst the swine
Forget the noise and fade away
My eyes close soft and tainted grey
The beauty of ending up this way.
Back.