SXS/PSY 320 – Spring 2012
Sex & Relationships

Ivy Chen, MPH

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Relationship Advice Scenarios for “Dr. Roof” Letters:

Pick ONLY ONE to write your 4 page paper on. Put at least 4 quotes with citations from lectures or reading into your responses to support your advice.

“My Boyfriend is Very Protective and Jealous”

Dear Dr. Roof,

I have been with my boyfriend for about six months. He is my first serious relationship, and I feel that we’re really in love.

When we first started dating, we’d spent every free moment together. However, my schedule has gotten busier the last few

months with school and work, and we aren’t able to hang out together as much as we used to. When I’m not with him, he’ll

call me to “check in” with me about six or seven times during the day. He says he misses me, but also always asks who I’m with.

When I see him at night, he looks through my cell phone to see who texted me during the day. I guess you can say he’s really

protective. He says he checks because he cares and loves me. Plus, I have nothing to hide, but it still feels a little weird. He

told me that a previous partner cheated on him before, so I understand why he’s afraid it can happen again. I feel kind of bad

for him, and I reassure him that I love only him and wouldn’t be with anyone else. Because I don’t have a lot of relationship

experience, I’m writing you to see if you think my boyfriend’s behavior is normal, or do you think that these are red flags

that he’s going to get more jealous and controlling? How can I tell the difference between a “good” or normal amount of

jealousy from harmful levels of jealousy?

Jamie

“In Love With My Best Friend”

Dear Dr. Roof,

I think I’m in love with my best friend! We do everything together, like the same books and moves, and laugh all the time when we’re together. 
We even used to compare stories of our respective relationships, and it just so happened that we’re both single right now. I’m not sure when it 
hit me that I’m really really attracted to her. Now that I’m aware of my attraction though, I feel really self-conscious around her now. I catch myself 
staring at her, and every once in a while, she gives me this funny look and says “are you OK?” I’m not sure how she feels about me. I mean, she
 says stuff like, “you’re the greatest” and “anybody would be so lucky to be with you” and even “I love you” though I think she means it more in a 
friendly way. I’m scared to make a move. The most important thing is that I don’t lose her as a friend, but sometimes I’d think about what an amazing 
couple we’d make though if we were to become more than friends. I’m paralyzed about what to do with my feelings, and I think about her day 
and night. Should I make a move to make our relationship romantic? What should I even say to her?

Alex

“Should I Date This Older Guy?”

Dear Dr. Roof,

There’s this guy in one of my classes. We partnered up for a class project, and we’ve been hanging out more outside of class.

He’s smart, cute, funny, and he’s been flirting with me this whole semester. The only thing is that I recently found out that he’s

35, and I’m only 20. He totally doesn’t look his age though. When I first saw him in class, I assumed that he was only about 25.

I only found out he was that much older when he mentioned something about being back in school because he got laid off from

his job where he’d been working for the last 10 years. He seems like a really cool guy who doesn’t act his age, and he’s seems

to be interested in dating me. I know that I would go for it if he were ten years younger. Is a fifteen year age gap really that big

a deal? Wow, what would my parents and friends say (and should I even care what they might say?)? What are some issues

that might come up if I date someone that much older than me? Should I try a relationship with this older guy or not?

Chris